Milton C. Newman (mcnewman) wrote,
Milton C. Newman
mcnewman

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I Finally Got a Tombstone.

They finally put it on my grave. It reads:
Molly A. Richerson

Loving Wife and Mother

April 3, 1945 to May 3, 2003

In Christ's Arms, Forever

After they set it, the manager of the cemetery pointed out that it was the wrong grave, to which one of his grunts replied, "I don't hear this guy complainin'." And then they had a good laugh.

That's right. Laugh it up, fat boy. I'm gonna find a way outta this box and kick your ass! And Molly, if you're readin' this: I'm so sorry you have such an unimaginative family. That damn epitath is on ALL the tombstones here! Can't they think of somethin' interestin' to put on it? Like, "Just As A Casino in Las Vegas, She Boasted the Loosest Slot in Town."

Yeah, I'm talkin' to you, Molly. Tell me you ain' that kinda gal, and then I hear you're over in the Matherson Crypt doin' four generations of their family! I hope you get a sexually transmitted scavenger worm!

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  • (no subject)

    One of the cemetery workers stopped by my grave today to admire my bloddy, fly-ridden lawn ornament. "Well, how about that," he muttered, and…

  • (no subject)

    I just heard a yap. A ghostly, disembodied yap. Shit. Another one. Oh God, no. No ghost yappy dogs, please no!

  • The Hell?!

    I'm layin' here, not hurtin' no one. Just readin' a browsin' some porn and listenin' to a radio feed, when that pigment-challenged disgrace of a…